Marji Laine: Faith~Driven Fiction

. . . Authentic and Intense

I am …

9 Comments

  • funny 
  • a wife 
  • a people-pleaser
  • a mom
  • nice
  • a daughter
  • sedentary
  • a photographer
  • a sister
  • a singer
  • silly
  • an aunt
  • a teacher
  • a student
  • a writer
  • hard on myself
  • a woman of prayer
  • a daughter-in-law
  • fearful
  • strong
  • a step-daughter
  • a sis-in-law
  • encouraging
  • wordy
I love the picture here, but I must admit, I totally diagree with it.

How I see myself is not what is most important. See I’d like to think of myself as a lion all the time, but reality sets in. There’s a full length mirror right there that tells me the truth. And truth is truth whether I want to believe it or not. 



I have wide hips from my mom and a double chin from my father’s side of the family. I have to wear reading glasses now, and I hate the tears that fall when I encounter a heart-touching ANYTHING. I don’t like making mistakes, especially stupid ones or second-timers, and there’s nothing worse than wasting the time and energy of others.


Don’t worry. I’m not down or dissing myself! I’m just telling it like it is. And I’m okay with all the imperfections I display in my physical appearance and in my behavior. They are as much a part of who I am as the music I sing, the stories that bubble up, or the family that surrounds me, so why should I shy away from them?


Another reason this sentiment is so wrong happens when the imperfection begin to overwhelm. Last Friday night, while my Precious Redhead sat laughing with her friends, watching a Tim Hawkins video here at the house, the church at the end of our street went into lock-down. A family dispute somewhere else ended with a man driving away from his home with a gun. The police found him in the church parking lot, refusing to leave his car. This guy had been a prominent chef in downtown Dallas, talented and well-off from the patronage of his exclusive restaurant, and yet at about 12:15 AM I heard the shots ring out as he came out of his car brandishing his weapon. 


That’s the type of thing that happens when what matters most is how we see ourselves. See my eyesight isn’t so hot. One minute I see a crown atop my head and the next, I see horns. What appeared beautiful is actually slimy, disgusting, and putrid. Or worse, the image fades into blurs with no features, nothing that stands out or seems worthy. Or maybe I’ll keep seeing that queen, yet knowing deep down that I’m lying to myself. 


What REALLY matters most is how God sees me. That vision isn’t swayed by mistakes, messes, or anything else I can do or have done. He sees me with nothing less than the glory of Christ. When my Savior collected all of the ugliness from me, dying with it, in my place, God replaced my sin with Christ’s perfection. Paul describes us collectively, as flawless, “without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Eph 4:27) 


Oh do give a listen to this awesome song!


Like the song says – “When He sees me, He sees His righteousness. He sees His Holy Spirit filling up the emptiness. When He looks at me, He sees the blood He shed.” 


I am SO glad He sees Himself each time He looks at me!






Advertisements

Author: Marji Laine

Marji is a homeschooling mom with teenage twins left in the nest. She spends her days transporting to and from volleyball, teaching writing classes at a local coop, and directing the children’s music program at her church. Raised in suburban Dallas, she got her first taste of writing through the stories of brilliant authors of their day, Mignon Eberhart and Phyllis A. Whitney, and through stage experience. After directing and acting in productions for decades, Marji started writing her own scripts. From that early beginning, she delved into creating scintillating suspense with a side of Texas sassy. She invites readers to unravel their inspiration, seeking a deeper knowledge of the Lord’s Great Mystery that invites us all.

9 thoughts on “I am …

  1. That’s one of my favorite pictures (cat/lion) but I’ve never seen it with that text on it.
    Without the text I see the picture meaning something totally different. =] With the text on it, yes, I agree with you! Too often we’ve bought into the world’s view of appearances when that’s not the way things are deep down.

    Like

  2. What a great heartfelt post. I too love that photo. so glad to read this tonight

    Like

  3. I love that song! Thank you for sharing it! Knowing that He sees us through the blood, in the righteousness of Christ is one of those promises that almost seems too good to be true, but we KNOW it’s true because of the Word!

    Like

  4. I especially like prayer could be verb and noun…great!

    Like

  5. This is a great post! Like Popeye the Sailor always proclaims “I yam what I yam!” But so glad that God sees the real me!

    Like