I am …

2012/March by Marji Laine 9 Comments

Source: Uploaded by user via Marji on Pinterest

• funny 
• a wife 
• a people-pleaser
• a mom
• nice
• a daughter
• sedentary
• a photographer
• a sister
• a singer
• silly
• an aunt
• a teacher
• a student
• a writer
• hard on myself
• a woman of prayer
• a daughter-in-law
• fearful
• strong
• a step-daughter
• a sis-in-law
• encouraging
• wordy

I love the picture here, but I must admit, I totally diagree with it.

How I see myself is not what is most important. See I’d like to think of myself as a lion all the time, but reality sets in. There’s a full length mirror right there that tells me the truth. And truth is truth whether I want to believe it or not. 


I have wide hips from my mom and a double chin from my father’s side of the family. I have to wear reading glasses now, and I hate the tears that fall when I encounter a heart-touching ANYTHING. I don’t like making mistakes, especially stupid ones or second-timers, and there’s nothing worse than wasting the time and energy of others.


Don’t worry. I’m not down or dissing myself! I’m just telling it like it is. And I’m okay with all the imperfections I display in my physical appearance and in my behavior. They are as much a part of who I am as the music I sing, the stories that bubble up, or the family that surrounds me, so why should I shy away from them?


Another reason this sentiment is so wrong happens when the imperfection begin to overwhelm. Last Friday night, while my Precious Redhead sat laughing with her friends, watching a Tim Hawkins video here at the house, the church at the end of our street went into lock-down. A family dispute somewhere else ended with a man driving away from his home with a gun. The police found him in the church parking lot, refusing to leave his car. This guy had been a prominent chef in downtown Dallas, talented and well-off from the patronage of his exclusive restaurant, and yet at about 12:15 AM I heard the shots ring out as he came out of his car brandishing his weapon. 


That’s the type of thing that happens when what matters most is how we see ourselves. See my eyesight isn’t so hot. One minute I see a crown atop my head and the next, I see horns. What appeared beautiful is actually slimy, disgusting, and putrid. Or worse, the image fades into blurs with no features, nothing that stands out or seems worthy. Or maybe I’ll keep seeing that queen, yet knowing deep down that I’m lying to myself. 


What REALLY matters most is how God sees me. That vision isn’t swayed by mistakes, messes, or anything else I can do or have done. He sees me with nothing less than the glory of Christ. When my Savior collected all of the ugliness from me, dying with it, in my place, God replaced my sin with Christ’s perfection. Paul describes us collectively, as flawless, “without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Eph 4:27) 


Oh do give a listen to this awesome song!

Like the song says – “When He sees me, He sees His righteousness. He sees His Holy Spirit filling up the emptiness. When He looks at me, He sees the blood He shed.” 


I am SO glad He sees Himself each time He looks at me!